Dream on

Posted by on Oct 1, 2006 in Blog | 0 comments

I don’t usually remember my dreams, so I think I don’t have any but the truth is I do. Whenever I’m able to remember them, I try and document them. Dreams are really interesting. I read a few passages out of The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud that got me interested in documenting my dreams. I can’t document all the activities going on in my life, so in 3 years when I read this dream, the interpretation may be different.

A kid from my elementary school life who was more of an acquaintance than a friend, was giving me advice for some reason. He was telling me that I can’t let time work its way for me, that I not going to get into a relationship with the woman of my dreams that way. He said that I need to be more seductive, or sensual. I need to be more proactive in that arena than just letting time take care of it.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Time alone doesn’t fix things, time and action does. I feel like I’m loosing the only girl that I have felt this strongly about. I have no choice but to move on, and try and meet someone better than her. I know there isn’t anyone better, that’s the sad thing. I’ll be doing these things in vain. It is the solution though. Meeting women, and trying to get them attracted to you is somewhat of a rush. One of my friends is right about the game objectifying women. I don’t like it either, but I’m not talking about that. I like the game because it lets you know what’s going on without being manipulative – you just have a leg up over the other person. I think that the rush of meting some other girls will be great for me, and if I still am interested in this specific girl than that’s how I want to be with her. The only way that I can pass the test if she’s the one is by the test of time. I think she is though, but it has to work both ways, and that’s what’s sad. She doesn’t feel the same way at all or so I think, and so it makes all of this pointless. I think I am just going to forget I’m attracted to her, and just go meet some other women, and let time waste away. If she was attracted to me, I think she would be very happy. Oh well. I can’t really change that. I’m just going to keep the mentality that it will never work out. When you condition yourself to believe something, it starts to appear as the truth.

ADDENDUM: I need to move on. She’s making other friends which will be just as useful as me, if not better. I need to meet other people and see where the wind blows. I really want this girl with all my heart, and feel that I would do anything for her (within reason, and not compromise myself too much). It’s time for me to stop chasing.

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